My Wild and Raunchy Deep Space Adventures on Planet 69

Does any one else remember when those stupid metallic leggings and wearing plugs became super popular?
Nik Haskin's My Wild and Raunchy Deep Space Adventures on Planet 69 is a pastiche film made by a bratty quasi-rebelious-middleclass-guy- it relies heavily on visually quoting Tim and Eric, paint, and a green screen. As well as gay jokes.I was informed that the title is a play on Ed Wood's Plan Nine From Outer Space and the gay comic My Wild and Raunchy Son.  It is about a gay porn star couple that live on various media platforms and universes in space and time and their dream to create the greatest porn ever.... 


Once more- that is to say: yet another cultish independent film- this time not by a member of the university community (like it makes a fucking difference- equally or less stupid than my last film reviewed- just goes to show maybe college DOES make you stupid...)- made in Michigan- saw this one in a basement in Allen Park- it was made by the guy with the glasses and black hair...

What I really liked about the film (much to the dismay of one of the animators- Arthur Muzzin) is that it plays out like a high and or just plain mundane channel surfing experience- except there is something interesting on every channel- so here is where you can choose to watch the trailer and be dissapointed in the future (if you even EVER get the experience of watching the movie) or go by my description of the film and then be forced to go on the youtube everyday for the rest of your life hoping the dvd has been taken out of Arthur's basement and uploaded to the internet:

according to my interpretation it plays out a lot like Schodinger's cat:

there are four rooms with televisions: 

1.some kids getting stoned

2. An elderly couple

3. over sexualized video gaming room 

4. guy jacking off 

in room three the kids are playing a video game starring Chip and Dale, 

in room one they are flipping through channels where they get infomercials and some cartoons, room two monotonous candle screen, room four Chip and Dale also star in porno 

I think if you disregard the plot the director/writer was going with and instead of trying to make narrative sense out of the film it is a great historical document as a reflection of my generation of psuedo-cool early 2000 over sexualized internet fiends with tight pants and plugs- love for owls and cartoon network allusions. One of my biggest problems with legitimate/mainstream films is that they do not represent the consuming audience- this film shows you who made it and who would want to watch it-

*as a side note: if everyone in the movie was actually gay this might be important art... alas... 
watch at your own risk:

The official trailer to the much anticipated "scifi sexploitation" film entitled: My Wild and Raunchy Deep Space Adventures on Planet 69 (aka Planet 69).

                                                                                                                                                       -MJJ

Vince Noir

I'm kind of obsessed with Noel Fielding's character -in British comedy troupe The Mighty Boosh -Vince Noir. Vince's look consists of sparkling one piece suits, platform shoes, pointy boots, women's accessories, and topped off with voluminous hair he looks like a cross between David Bowie and Joan Jett. I can't help but be reminded of myself in his character because of his obsession with fashion and his constant longing to reinvent himself. Throughout the show Vince jumps from fashion fads like mod, goth, punk, glam, and so on in an attempt to mock fads and how vapid youths approach them.

I'm also impressed by how actor Noel Fielding takes on these crazy roles like old greg and howling jimmy jefferson, the costumes are hilarious and heavy loaded with wigs, make-up and always glitter -it cracks me up.

 "Whatchyou doin' in my waters? I'm Old Greg"

Howling Jimmy Jefferson

Love those shoes, he makes me want to move to London

Its like Vince says "I can never be unhappy in a poncho"

Hail Mary-Photographed by Andrew Whitton

The infamous silver jumpsuit Vince's signature look
 
These photos don't really prove my point.... JUST WATCH THE DAMN SHOW!

-Mink Stygian 

Enduring Destiny

If Tommy Wiseau and David Lynch where retarded-film-making-siamese-twins-conjoined-at-the-head, and some how obtained eight thousand dollars and then managed (at least partially) to maintain the dedication of a cast and crew for at least three years- the end product would be Enduring Destiny. 

The story of "Max Kenner" (Thomas Reilly-King), scholarship wrestler and aspiring C.I.A. agent, has traveled from his suburban California home and high school sweetheart, "Jessica Bateman" (Ariel Vida), to a bitter cold semester at Michigan State University. There unfolds a gripping, coming-of-age journey into the glory days of youth and timeless memories. Personalities intermingle in a mix of triumphs, romance, comedy, mishaps, and downright misery. Once a squeaky clean, slightly cocky guy of privilege and self determination, is thrust into a humbling life of physical dependence after tragedy strikes. As a cripple in a wheelchair, Max's masculinity becomes confronted by his reliance on others. Jealousy and ulterior motives surface through a landscape filled with fast-paced fraternity parties and superficiality galore. Also starring Shae Valko as nerdy roommate, "Bernard Feinstein", Nick Zott as Max's fraternity big brother, "Jake Conway", Zack Stewart as the wrestling team bully, "Sid Butcher," with special appearances by Russ "Rusty" Jameson and the one and only Mr. Bill Vincent. Enduring Destiny is a deconstruction into a status-driven ego of crippling proportions. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll witness one young man's fire burning deep inside!

-T.R.K.
Drama / Suspense

Independent Feature-length Film

Filmed in High Definition

I recenty had the priviledge ( I say this both ironically and genuinely: I genuinely feel like part of a privileged elite after having been able to see this movie!) to watch a rough cut- what might be the second to last cut before the final product- of the film Enduring Destiny at a mutual friend of T.R.K. and mine's house-  [the missing shots are filled in with intertitles describing the shot and it's narrative function]

it may be "the text book example of how not to make movie"-it is ludicrous- but the fact that I had heard so much about it before hand made for a sort of fabricated cult viewing experience of which my generation (the youtube generation) has sadly been stripped of on account of the availability and convergence of media-

(my synopsis: a jock form California moves to Michigan to go to MSU (presumably on a wresting scholarship) to follow his destiny and become-yes at MSU- a CIA agent- he leaves behind his high school girlfriend- arrives in snow to greet his nerdy/cute roommate- whom he abandons for popularity when he joins a fraternity- there is lots of wrestling- an evil ginger nurse- a guy with green hair- an Obama mask- a sledge hammer- falling wheelchairs- retribution-a CIA agent- more wrestling-) all you have to know is that in T.R.K.'s universe it takes two hours to drive from California to Michigan.

-MJJ


I had written more but it got deleted on these fucking stupid library computers so this is all i have to say for now.